As a health conscious baby
boomer generation begins to ascend the staircase toward golden year bliss their
pets evidently, are on the geriatric escalator right by their side. The
difference seems to be that as we wean ourselves from traditional drug therapy
for various ailments associated with age, stress, anxiety, worry or mood
swings, the veterinary medicine community is acting as though they have found a
fountain of magical youth elixir for man’s best friend. We eagerly raid
the shelves of health food stores for natural vitamin therapies to treat what
ails us. Then race with all deliberate speed to the vet, for designer drug
miracles, to treat Fluffy’s ‘doggy dementia’. Designer Drugs for
these purposes are a synonym for Pfizer. Those marvelously forward thinking,
global drug lords who brought us Viagra, soon to be available in nasal sprays,
but that’s a subject for another column. Pfizer, Inc. reported sales of
$13.3 billion in 2007. This year it is their intention to spend $1.9 billion at
their worldwide headquarters in New York on research and development. According
to their own press release, Pfizer is ‘a global leader in the discovery,
development and delivery of innovative drugs for the treatment of disease in
companion animals and livestock.’ “Compassionate care for older dogs
is a companion-animal priority for our organization.” Said Brian W.
Barrett, president of Pfizer Animal Health and VP of Pfizer, Inc. Translation:
We’ve been quite busy creating a new politically correct way in which you
must now refer to your pets. Since its offensive to claim ownership of any
living creature, you must stop calling Fluffy your dog and start referring to
it as a companion animal. Just in case you’ve been feeding Fluffy for a
period of years the appropriate reference in all likelihood, would be a golden
companion animal. Earlier last year, according to Barrett, “Veterinarians
and pet owners in the U.S. enthusiastically welcomed the introduction of
Rimadyl for the relief of canine arthritis pain. We are confident that Anipryl
will also earn a key role in restoring aging dogs to fuller participation in
the lives of their families.” Translation: We’re loosing a great deal
of money with all this attention on herbal and alternative healing methods. if
we can’t develop a synthetic alternative and we can’t get our drugs
into you or your kids, we’ll get you to feed them to your pets. Anipryl, a
substance to ease separation anxiety experienced by dogs when left alone, is
the latest addition to a long list of canine uppers and downers available to
the concerned pet companion. The idea is to treat the dog with drugs and in
doing so, buy time to allow Fluffy’s therapist; a board certified animal
behaviorist, to devise a reaction modification program a la mode. Some of the
other anti-anxiety medications available for your pet are Diazepam (Valium Rx),
buspirone (Buspar Rx), and amitiptyline (Elavil Rx). These are the most
commonly recommended medications. Fluoxetine (Prozac Rx) has also been used but
is more expensive than the other medications. In all fairness to Pfizer and the
other drug manufacturers, the FDA, that bastion in Washington whence ultimate
approval of all the best social drugs is issued, has sanctioned each of the
animal companion drugs. Therefore, if the government, as it likes to pretend,
really knows more than we do perhaps we should just rejoice that our furry
little friends could finally enjoy that free feeling of drugged euphoria. But
I’m not so sure. I’ve always had the utmost respect for
veterinarians. They must be sensitive to the patient’s needs to a degree
not usually demanded of M.D.s because the animals can’t tell them what the
problem is. However, vets are now experiencing what our medical community has
been dealing with for many years. Drug manufacturers, who are only interested
in selling their product, are courting them, and Fluffy is stoned. Do I really
want my dog to be on drugs? I don’t think so. I don’t believe that
running to the medicine cabinet for instant relief is any better for our pets
than it is for our children or for us. Looking for the proverbial quick fix is
what created our dependence on medicinal potions in the first place. It
didn’t work for us and we’ll quickly realize that it doesn’t
work for our animals either. If it had worked, we wouldn’t be spending
billions on alternative treatments now. So why not apply some of our recently
gained knowledge to our faithful companions? Why not try herbal, vitamin,
mineral, dietary and physical activity remedies first? Granted it might take a
little longer, but then so will continued consultation with an animal
behaviorist, and much less expensive. If your dog continues to be particularly
distressed when left alone, maybe you could get him a pet of his own. A hamster
comes immediately to mind, but any small animal the dog could focus on, guard
and care for should do. There are a variety of events available to which you
could take your dog. If none of the standard ones appeal to you there is always
the creative option of starting something new.
Some activities might be:
- * Hold an Owner/Dog Look Alike Contest at
the park of your choice.
- * Start a canine singles club, only for the
spayed & neutered of course. Dogs are social animals theyll have a great
time visiting with each other while youre busy.
- * He could get a job in security. That would
certainly relieve him of boredom, and help you with the family budget.
- * Teach your dog to play poker. If he’s
any good perhaps he can have his picture painted on velvet, just like those
famous other dogs.
You see, there are a plethora of
activities you could immediately arrange for your dog in your quest of helping
your pet overcome separation anxiety. None of these activities involve the use
of drugs. There are over three million animal companions in the U.S. and it
wouldn’t do at all for them to develop addictions. Of course, it’s
always fun to speculate. What do you think television ads of the future will
look like if we allow our dogs to spend their time getting stoned? Give an
advertising agency an opportunity and stand back. The result should be
entertaining when they begin to advertise those new twelve step programs for
man’s best friend. Fast forward a few years to the commercials directed to
you asking questions like ‘It’s nine o’clock. Do you know where
your animal companion is?’ In no time at all, commercials will be aimed
directly at your pets in their own language, telling them to ‘Just Bark
No’.
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